Now I Begin,
Now I Begin,
My life is worn out by sorrow,
and my years by sighing.
My strength fails in my affliction
my bones are wearing down.
The world today is cray-cray! Is that still a thing, cray-cray? Nonetheless things are getting out of hand. In the mornings when I watch the news and see all the craziness going on I feel so tired and worn down. Sometimes it may not even be anything particular..just a general feeling of weariness will come over me. A heaviness will take over my heart and I’ll want to cry. I’ll want to crawl back into bed bury myself under pillows and blankets, and sleep. Sleep, not to restore and refresh..but sleep to escape. Maybe you feel the same, or maybe you feel even worse.
Some take the desire to sleep as a means of escape a step further. Some hurt so much, they want to sleep forever. Suffering physically, mentally, or both they take their lives to end their suffering. They may even take the lives of others with them.
This is not the way. It is not the answer. Our God is one of love and mercy who wants nothing more than for us to love him in return completely. To love completely, one must trust implicitly. We must trust God with our lives and the knowledge of when it is time to call us home. This is not a decision for us to make, no matter how low our shoulders droop with the weight of our cross.
When that cross becomes too heavy to bare..don’t buckle under its weight. Do not let it weigh you down until it buries you. We all falter in our steps. Even Jesus, who is God, had help with his cross.
Commend your spirit to God, so that he may renew it. Do not shoulder the burden alone. You do not have to! Draw on the strength of God your Father for the courage, the will to get up, to move forward, to ask for help, and the desire to live. You are not alone! You are loved!
Into your hands I commend my spirit;
you will redeem me, Lord, God of truth.