Now I Begin,
Now I Begin,
It was hot at mass this morning. Our new church prefers to trust in the Lord for their airconditioning and relies upon open windows. The Lord does provide and an occasional cool breeze did cut through the stifling heat. The Lord helps those who help themselves which is why I was grateful for the Stitchfix Jersey Maxi Dress I’d chosen.
Last week sucked, a perfect prelude to the pick up your cross and follow me homily being delivered. This particular gospel is my least favorite. (Christ’s passion comes in at number two because at least that opened up the gates of heaven.) I’m more of a “God bless everything I do” kind of girl. I have lived a good life and the idea of suffering in any way shape or form makes me very uncomfortable.
When I’d get into trouble as a kid, my mom would end her lecture with the question, “Do you have anything to say?” Now, I did not realize until some time later that this was a rhetorical question and I was not meant to provide an answer…but I’m hardheaded hence the response, “You don’t love me anymore!”
A couple of times I was able to escape a spanking with a “You don’t live me anymore,” and it became my go to. Eventually my go to was a no go and my mom quipped back, “Yes I do,” and then meted out the punishment.
As an adult I haven’t changed much and when the rough gets a going I get to whining. If my cross gets heavy, I drop that bad boy onto the ground and stare at it… willing it to go away. If that does not work then I get to stepping as far away from that cross as I can get.
What’s this about? What am I supposed to learn from this? What did I do wrong to make you mad at me? Don’t you love me anymore? Are you sure this is what you want me to do? Why? Why? Why? Waah, waah, waah….
Lord, if you take this cross I’ll go to confession. Lord, if that cross goes away I’ll stop playing candy crush. Lord, help me with this and I’ll see you at adoration, and so on and so forth.
I reckon that none of that works and I inevitably have to return to the cross and deal with it.
There it is, my mass takeaway. I felt like God had pulled me in by my ear, sat me down onto the pew, and said,
I wanted to throw a teenage sized tantrum but I don’t think the other parishioners would have appreciated it. I closed my eyes and let His Holy Spirit inside so I could see what I was blind to, hear what I was deaf to, and know what I was dumb to.
Pain and suffering is a part of our journey home. Are you happy? No, not all the time. Sometimes life sucks. Trusting in God and His plan for us is the only answer. His blessings do come, and those truly happy moments sustains us through the difficult ones. Do not be ashamed of the Cross. Try not to fear it. Definitely do not avoid it. Pick up your cross and follow after him. His way is the only way.
Linking up with Rosie over at A Blog for My Mom and her My Sunday Best Series.